Nemo risum praebuit, qui ex se coepit.

Translation: Nobody is laughed at, who laughs at himself. (Seneca)

I Am - Christina Burris

I Want - a job I love as much as my current position but pays what it’s worth (or better, that wouldn‘t hurt).

I Have - many, many reptiles.

I Wish - I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I Hate - that getting ahead can be such a struggle.

I Fear - BOBBLEHEADS. *shiver*

I Hear - people asking when I’m going to have a child, and I wonder how they don’t know me better by now. Seriously.

I Search - for that perfect balance between contentment and desire.

I Wonder - if I really have to grow up. Because I just don’t think so.

I Regret - nothing. I make conscious choices and accept all consequences.

I Love - my ridiculous family and my ridiculous friends! They all had their part in making me the person I am. Although some of them would deny this to the death.

I Always - complain! It’s my stress relief. Too bad for those around me, huh.

I Usually - procrastinate. And then get irritated at those around me who procrastinate. I’m weird like that.

I Am Not - a boy! No matter what my granddad told me when I was little.

I Dance - like someone who can’t.

I Sing - to the chagrin of anyone with ears.

I Never - do everything I’m supposed to. It can be good and bad.

I Rarely - answer my cell phone.

I Cry - when I am frustrated.

I Am Not Always - nice. Ask just about anyone. :/

I Lose - patience when I am tired. I get super fussy.

I'm Confused - by oh, so very much.

I Need - maybe a leg-lengthening procedure? There has to be something that explains my perpetual imbalance.

I Should - put down the Jack in the Box and join a gym already.

I Dream - of owning my own house soon. It always seem to be “one more year” away.

Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas.

Translation: Happy is he who has been able to learn the causes of things. (Vergil)

In even other words, some random facts for your consideration.

- In 1728, the philosopher Voltaire got rich by outsmarting the lottery. When the French government accidentally created a raffle where the prize money was significantly larger than the cost of all the tickets combined, Voltaire and his friend formed a syndicate, bought all the tickets, and won.

- Plastic bags take up less landfill space than paper bags. According to one study, two plastic bags take up 72 percent less landfill space than one paper bag.

- Academy Award-winning actor Kevin Spacey has an older brother, Randy, who makes a living as a Rod Stewart impersonator.

- Dimples may be cute, but they are an inherited genetic flaw. They are caused by a fibrous band of tissue that connects the skin to an underlying bone.

So. Now you know how to win the lottery. You know how to maximize space in a your dump (at least, if you chose to discard biodegradability standards). You know what your siblings will end up doing when you're rich and famous - unless one of them is already rich and famous; in which case you better get to working on your own impersonation skills. And you know that dimples are a freak of nature. Go, be happy. I'm glad I could be of service.

O quam cito transit gloria mundi!

Translation: O how quickly passes the glory of the world!

Here's a minor homage to some famous (and infamous) people who passed in 2008.

Vampira - You can't love campy horror without loving Maila Nurmi.

Heath Ledger - Sure he was too young but how many thousands of young people are enmeshed in addiction? I was irritated by how much energy was focused on yet another actor overdosing (although here I am, contributing to the same).

Charlton Heston - I'd get weak for anyone who was in Planet of the Apes and head of the N.R.A.

John Archibald Wheeler - Mmmm...physics...

Yves Saint Laurent - Mmmm...cosmetics and haute couture...

George Carlin - Mmmm...satire and blasphemy...

Isaac Hayes - I will miss Chef.

Bernie Mac - I didn't realize the soft spot I held for him until he was no longer able to create the light and dry yet hilarious comedy that was his legacy.

Bill Melendez - A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Great Pumpkin. Need I say more?

Paul Newman - My landlady was sitting on the ground stroking our building's 15-year-old alley cat aptly named Mr. Magoo when I walked by. She asked how Conan was doing as it was the one-year anniversary of when he had put Spot down (his cat and friend of 14-15 years). After my response she looked listfully in the distance and said, "It's the cycle, I guess. The cycle of life." She went on about how the beautiful tree in the front yard was dying and had to be cut down; as I was about to walk away she asks, "And did you hear? Paul Newman passed away this morning. The cycle of life..." and shook her head with great melancholy. Uhhh...

Michael Crichton - Sorry, mom, no more disaster stories.

Betty Page - Ahh, my hero. As a woman I've looked to her as an example of strength and confidence. She was not afraid to be who she was and let that stand alone as the reason for her actions, even during an era where those actions were shunned.

Eartha Kitt - "And in the theatre I want to change my seat, just so I can step on everybody's feet...I want to be evil, I want to be bad."

Rest in Peace, all.